Never forget the greatest moment in transfer deadline day history

"A little bit of background on the Tom Cleverley situation..." rabbited Sky Sports reporter Alan Irwin - not realising that a big purple dildo was all set to dominate his own background.

When the happy intruder (the fan behind him, that is) stuck the tip of his adult toy in Alan's ear, he helped change the face of live football coverage. A bit.

Until then, Sky had put reporters outside stadiums and training grounds to get the most exciting deadline day moves - or Tom Cleverley to Everton, in this case.

whats happened to football these days? You cant even tickle a presenters ear anymore with a giant purple dildo on deadline day.
😔😔😔 pic.twitter.com/OLR69S0Cf7

— MadMaximus (@MadMaximusUtd) January 31, 2017

That meant they were dangerously close to the general public, AKA total nutters.

"Never work with children or animals," Irwin said when asked about it afterwards (though neglecting to mention which category he thought dildo-brandishing Everton fans fell into).

"I think it's one of the hazards of the job, isn't it?"

Is it? "I thought somebody had just flicked my ear with a hand or something," he added, admitting he hadn't quite grasped what was going on behind him at the time.

But like a pro's pro, he got through it with barely a pause - and didn't react the way this Italian host did when assaulted with an inflatable banana.

Probably for the best. 'Sky Sports reporter beats Everton fan over the head with purple sex toy' is not the kind of fresh news a respectable broadcaster wants to be breaking.

It was not even an isolated incident. A blow-up doll starred in report on the same deadline day - summer 2014 - while in another incident Norwich fans got, erm, romantic in the background of a live report.

All this amounted to Sky deciding to protect their reporters from 2015 and no longer do live, transfer deadline broadcasts alongside fans. A loud boo from us viewers, but an understandable measure to protect their staff from taunts, jostling and vibrating sex rods.

The sports reporter's progress,,, pic.twitter.com/jBcT33t1Hb

— David Squires (@squires_david) September 2, 2014

"I do find it quite upsetting that you're talking to these fans in between the live broadcast, then as soon as the light goes on and there's the opportunity for them to interfere - so to speak - they take it," said Irwin, summing it all up.

At least it gave cartoonist David Squires the chance to create the perfect example of modern career development. And - for those missing a massive dildo live on Sky Sports - there's always [insert ex-pro of your choice] in the studio to fulfil your needs.