Loris Karius exclusive: "I have considered retirement... it has been a difficult situation to recover from'
In his own words, Loris Karius has done a lot of reflecting lately. "I feel like over the last few years, whatever I did — or however much effort I put into training — it still wasn’t good enough," he tells SPORTbible. "It has been difficult to recover from this situation."
Even without context, many will understand what the former Liverpool goalkeeper means by ‘this situation’.
On the evening of May 26, 2018, an inconsolable Karius walked around the NSC Olimpiyskiy Stadium in Kyiv with his hand outstretched. After making two high-profile errors in the Champions League final against Real Madrid, he wanted to apologise to those who made the trip.
A short time later, Karius underwent scans at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston and medical staff concluded that the concussion he sustained from an off-the-ball incident with Sergio Ramos affected his performance.
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Still, death threats and months of abusive messages followed.
You can count on one hand how many times the German goalkeeper has spoken publicly about that night in Ukraine's capital but ahead of Wednesday’s fixture between Liverpool and Madrid – a game that will no doubt bring his name into conversation again – Karius is open and honest about a sequence of events that have followed his career.
"It has been difficult to shake off," he admits. "Even at other clubs when I was trying to gain a manager's trust or get game time when I felt like, in my opinion, I deserved it… there have definitely been moments where I've thought that was my disadvantage.
"It might not even be the manager's fault but if you know you have a player that is going to draw so much attention then it's going to add pressure. They've probably thought, ‘I'll take the easy and safe way rather than go the other route.’
"You can understand in some ways but it's frustrating when there isn't much else you can do to change their mind."
Karius has made just six appearances over the last three-and-a-half years following turbulent loan spells at Besiktas and Union Berlin. Now, the 31-year-old is a free agent after his time at Newcastle United came to an end in June.
These past four-or-so months have allowed him to step away from the regimented and time-consuming routine of a professional footballer and follow other passions, like music and spending time with family. But the question remains; how did it come to this? And what's next?
Loris Karius was Liverpool's first-choice goalkeeper coming into the 2018 Champions League final.
Jurgen Klopp made it public that he would end his rotation policy involving Simon Mignolet and hand Karius the number one shirt – a show of faith that meant the world.
"I wasn't performing at my best but I still performed well in the second season," Karius recalls. "Everything was on the up and then the final happened. It went downhill from there."
After a flawless first-half performance against Madrid, the German was caught out just five minutes after the break, when he tried to play the ball out to Dejan Lovren. Instead, Karim Benzema stuck out his right boot to block the throw, directing the ball goalwards.
Then, with seven minutes remaining, Karius spilled Gareth Bale's long-range effort to put the game to bed.
The following weeks were tough. Karius tried to distract himself from everything that was happening on the outside by training and working hard but it was an almost impossible task. He was determined to start afresh but a handful of errors in pre-season summed up where his head was at.
"My confidence was knocked in the days after and in pre-season, for sure," says Karius. "Everything I did was getting looked at. It was so extreme. It all got a bit too much.
"I was trying not to pay any interest but you couldn't get away from it all. You still notice. People are telling you. I was getting confronted all the time. And that's why I wanted a fresh start rather than staying at Liverpool, where I could have been behind Alisson, and still getting game time.
"Maybe in the end that would have been the better step but it's difficult to say at that stage."
After years of reflection, he can find positives from such a low moment in his life.
"It was a game. I made some mistakes. I was probably injured when doing so. What am I going to learn from this? To not make the same mistake next time? Or signal when I received the hit? It's not easy,” Karius adds.
"But the experience made me stronger as a person. It's part of my story. It's part of my history. At the end of the day, I was a Liverpool player. I reached the Champions League final. It didn't play out how I wanted but less than one percent of professional footballers play in a Champions League final. We did great things. You can't deny that."
A month after Liverpool broke the transfer fee record for a goalkeeper by signing Alisson from AS Roma, Turkish club Besiktas moved for Karius on a two-year loan. The domino effect from the Champions League final was just beginning.
"I left Liverpool and that led me to Turkey, which was such a turbulent time," he says. “So many things were happening when I was already fragile. There was a lot of chaos. I didn't get paid for five or six months and I had to sue my own club. It's not something you enjoy or want to do, but I didn't really have a choice.
"You need to feel happy and settled to perform at your best. I was still only 26 at the time. That's a lot of things for a 26-year-old to go through. I'm 31 now. I have a lot more experience but at the time, it wasn't easy for a young guy to take all of these things.”
Karius continues: "I thought it would be different. I thought I could go to Turkey, reset and have a fresh start. But it got even more turbulent. I was in a country I'd never been to before. I didn't speak the language and I was on my own most of the time.
"I wasn’t in a good mental space. There was no one to talk to; not even the coaches because they could only speak Turkish. There was no one there to help. I was just really relieved when I was able to leave. That was probably the most difficult time of my career.
"From there, it went downhill, step by step. Once you're without game time for a year or two, it's not going to get easier to get back in goal at the highest level."
Karius eventually left Liverpool in June 2022, four years after his last competitive appearance for the club, which happened to be the Champions League final defeat to Real Madrid. He never got to redeem himself at Anfield.
"My career took a U-turn after I left England in 2018,” he says.
It was labelled by many as a chance of redemption. Back in February last year, Karius vowed to find a “good ending” to his career after making his first senior appearance for two years in the Carabao Cup final.
He played well that day. It wasn't enough to stop Erik ten Hag from winning his first trophy as Manchester United manager but at last, the German was able to showcase himself on the big stage, five months after joining Newcastle – a club he has nothing but admiration for.
Did he expect to feature more under Eddie Howe? "In the second season, when (Nick) Pope was injured, I expected, or hoped, to play games," says Karius, who signed for the Magpies in September 2022.
"In the end, there was always a reason why it didn't happen. That's the only thing I look back on with regret because if I had played the second half of that season, then we probably wouldn't be talking now and I’d be at another club, starting afresh. But that's football. You can't change it."
It was a mutual decision to leave at the end of his contract at St James' Park.
“It didn't really make sense to me to do a third year," he admits. "I don't know. I asked myself, ‘Was I the second-choice and would I get games?’ It was difficult. The coach would have liked to keep me but all in all; the whole package didn't make sense for a third year. It made sense to move on. They were two great years but it was time for a change."
And here we are; almost a third into the Premier League season. There were offers in the summer window and a host of Italian clubs were linked, including AS Roma, Monza and Torino, but today, he remains a free agent.
“I was hoping to get a good opportunity in the summer, where I could have a shot at playing again," Karius says.
"I could still get that somewhere else, but I still have expectations of which level I want to play. I have to be honest with myself and not go somewhere I may not feel comfortable.
"I chose not to go to Saudi Arabia, for example. To be that far away from my family would have been difficult. I've spoken to teams but in the end, it didn't work out. There were advanced talks with a team in Italy but that didn't happen, which was sad at the time.
"It hasn't been easy but I can honestly say that I've been working as hard as I can over the past few years. I've been putting a lot of work in behind the scenes. I've been a top team player but when it comes to two or three years where you've barely played, it gets really frustrating. You're thinking, 'What else can I actually do?' I still feel like I have a lot of quality."
For many, the mere thought of retirement is hard to comprehend for a footballer in their early thirties but Karius is at ease with the subject.
"If you've been out for as long as I have then you obviously have to consider retirement," he says. "I haven’t made a decision yet because there's no need to. I'm still fit. I still have all the potential and the ability.
"But if a door doesn't open then I have to be honest and say to myself, 'Listen. I've got many other things that I can pursue that excite me; that I enjoy and put effort into.' I don't think it would hit me that hard because I've already been going through this process over the last few years.”
To try and maintain a rhythm, the German goalkeeper has spent up to two hours per-day training at his current base in Italy. He wants to make sure he's in peak physical condition if a club does decide to come knocking.
"You never know," he says, when asked what he'd like to be doing in 12 months. "A goalkeeper could get injured tomorrow and I get a call-up. Maybe in a week, I'll be in goal again. You never know. If that doesn't happen, I will probably still be in Italy, spending a lot of time with my family and progressing the music."
The music.
These last four-or-so months have allowed Karius to step away from the structured life of a professional footballer and follow some of his other passions, like walking the runway for Hugo Boss at Milan Fashion Week in September.
He’s also spent more time than ever with family; something he mentions on numerous occasions throughout the interview. “I've been able to watch my daughter grow,” he smiles.
"It's a new situation but I'm trying to take the positives out of it and do other things that I haven't been able to do in the last 13 years."
Much of his playing career has been dedicated to improving his craft as a goalkeeper but when the COVID-19 pandemic disrupted football, he decided to learn to become a DJ.
Things have escalated since. As well as producing a setlist of songs on streaming service Soundcloud, Karius has performed at several private events, including The Guest House Austin — a popular venue in Texas’ capital — where he performed in front of a large crowd ahead of the United States Grand Prix.
"It's something I really enjoy," he grins. "When you're training and playing every day, you can't take these hobbies to the next level because it's not possible. Will it be my next career? I don't know. I'm not going to be a DJ who performs twice a week somewhere, but I'll definitely take it a step further. I’ll bring out some music, produce and play at more events.
”A lot of people will think, 'Oh this guy is just acting like a DJ’ but I've been doing it for almost five years. Once they listen to the music, and realise that I’ve got some knowledge, I hope they will understand. So far, all the people have been positive. It's been fun to get compliments for your music, and people seeing that you're doing it quite well.
“It's very different to football but there are some similarities. When you save a shot, you bring emotions out of people. When you play a song that everyone enjoys, you bring emotions out of people."
As we wrap up our chat, the conversation turns to Liverpool's Champions League game against Real Madrid on Wednesday night.
Six years ago, it was a fixture that consumed his every day. Now, things are very different.
"I didn't know Liverpool played Real Madrid this week," says Karius. "At the start of the season, I decided to not watch any games. I wanted to clear my head and spend some time with family. I was still training but it's not always easy seeing all the guys you've played with starting again, and you're not doing it anymore.
"For me, it was better to just not watch and take a break. Now, I watch all the games, but I honestly didn't know."
Topics: Loris Karius, Real Madrid, Liverpool, Champions League, Besiktas, Turkey, Italy, Spotlight
Jack Kenmare