Manchester United's promo for their new jersey is making hearts melt - and it isn't just because Juan Mata is featured.
No, it's because the new Man United 1968 Special Edition Jersey might be the greatest and most beautiful top that's ever been created.
The only trouble with, though, for most people, is that it's a Man United jersey. So those who support other teams can't wear it, unless they hide it in a crevasse dug out at the back of their wardrobe and secretly wear the jersey when no one is in the house, rubbing the majestic sleeves and logo with orgasmic passion, whilst swearing to themselves not to tell anyone about their deep, dark secret.
The top has gone on sale to commemorate a famous match in the club's history.
The description says: "This football jersey celebrates 50 years since Manchester United became the first English football club to win the European Cup. [...] Man Utd beat Benfica 4-1 after extra-time to lift the now famous trophy."
So what's it like to wear? Well, the kitbag copywriter would have you believe that wearing is a bit like the being under the influence of NZT in the film Limitless, only without the withdrawal symptoms and the violent Russian loan shark chasing you.
The price retails at £99.95 at Kitbag, however, so you'll have to save up them pennies to be the proud owner of this luxurious jumper.
Man United kits haven't been up to scratch in recent seasons. We need that iconic Vodafone kit back. But this top might have made up for those recent designs.
Not sure pricing out a section of fans is the best way for the Man United franchise department to commemorate the club's success fifty years ago but that's just the game nowadays: when it comes to making dollar, everything else is irrelevant.
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