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Duncan Ferguson has delivered a bone-chilling, f**k-filled warning to an Everton fan to improve his school grades.
"Hi young Tom, you alright son, it's Duncan Ferguson here," the gigantic Scot began in the video, filming himself inside Goodison Park. "I just wanted to wish you all the best, pal.
"Your teacher, old Tom, has told me you've been f**cking slacking off a bit in your photography, is that right?
Little brother got a message from Big Dunc giving him a little kick up the arse for slacking in school our footy club is boss UTFT :blue_heart: pic.twitter.com/8YzsXaviCy- Jack simmons (@JackSimmo1998) April 19, 2021
"We cannae be having that, mate. You better get your finger out and make sure that you get the f**king results."
We presume at this stage that 'Young Tom' was immediately either reaching a trembling hand for his camera or just hiding under his bed in fear. But Dunc was not finished with him.
Everyone after watching this: pic.twitter.com/wPfzMxejBp- Chris :earth_americas::man::rocket:? :gun::man::rocket: (@EnchantedHam) April 19, 2021
"And if you get the results right and you stick in, I'll come and see you," the 49-year-old added.
"I'll take you for a bit of lunch or I'll come to your house or something. We'll sit down and have a wee chat... So you make sure you stick in. Come on, don't f**k the job up.
"Anyway, look: there's Goodison for you. What do you think of that? Hopefully you'll be back soon lad. Alright mate - stick in son. God bless from Big Dunc, take care."
I'm a grown man with two jobs, but fuck even I'm off to do my photography homework now. https://t.co/D4JGkVGUwD- Ryan Stillwell (@PompeyViking62) April 19, 2021
I was in a room with Big Dunc once. He was suited and booted, smoking a fat cigar. He didn't say a word, just stood there smoking. Scared the shit out of me! After seeing this video I'm thinking of resitting my GCSE's. https://t.co/ewvToYyeyu- Paddy McGuinness :blue_heart: (@PaddyMcGuinness) April 19, 2021
This is lovely, but also terrifying at the same time. https://t.co/AFcK5nPXux- Joe Crann (@YesWeCrann) April 19, 2021
It's very nice of him to offer to take the lad for lunch and visit him at his house.....just a shame it comes out as a genuine, bloodcurdling threat.....- Michael Cafferky (@TheMichaelCaff) April 19, 2021
Ferguson is widely viewed as the scariest player in Premier League history. We'd possibly just upgrade that to 'human being ever to walk the earth'.
So while his promise to come and visit the student - should his grades improve - was undoubtedly an incredibly kind and well-intentioned gesture, it is naturally a bit menacing.
Send Big Dunc into the SuperLeague. Representing Big Dunc FC. https://t.co/cUs9YK23uC- Gordon Smart (@gordonsmart) April 19, 2021
Send the big man round to the consortium for the euro super leagues doors :joy::joy::joy:. They'd shit their pants. https://t.co/RCTy4akHZ4- Jamie Langfield (@jamlang22) April 19, 2021
You have to love this. I wouldn't mess with Big Dunc:grin: https://t.co/i7DwiCcR4n- David Kellett (@dpjkellett) April 19, 2021
Good luck with your photography, Tom. And with the subsequent home visit from Mr Ferguson.
Featured image: Twitter
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