Multiple choices, one answer. No shirking. Jay Rodriguez are you ready to play Versus? Let's go!
GOAT: Lionel Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo?
Cristiano Ronaldo. Obviously Lionel Messi is unbelievable, but I love the fact Ronaldo has moved to different leagues and dominated. He's definitely the best for me.
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Fake crowd noise: On or turn off?
Turn it off. I remember there being a throw-in and they put cheering on and I was thinking, 'No, they need to turn it off, I want to hear what everyone's saying.' [SPORTbible: Were you worried you might get caught saying something offensive on camera?] Sometimes, obviously, in the heat of the moment you're swearing, but I think it shows what football is. You can get a glimpse of what it's like and I think that's brilliant.
Nando's: Extra hot or lemon and herb?
Extra hot. It was lemon and herb, but as I've grown older I like it spicy. [SPORTbible: What would you do if a teammate ordered lemon and herb?] I'd probably say, "I've been there myself. I understand, but you need to grow up a little bit."
Delivery: David Beckham or Trent Alexander-Arnold?
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David Beckham. Trent is amazing, his quality is unbelievable. It's world class. But for me, Beckham is a legend.
Pundit: Gary Neville or Jamie Carragher?
They're both class, but I think Gary Neville. I listen to what he says and he cracks me up.
Next superstar: Erling Haaland or Kylian Mbappe?
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Mbappe. He's frightening.
TV show: Inbetweeners or The Office?
The Office. I love everything Ricky Gervais does. I did watch The Inbetweeners, it's quality. The film where they went on their first lads holiday was brilliant. We've all been there at some point.
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Predators: Accelerators 1998 or Manias 2002?
Manias. I love them. They're the most iconic for me. I love the way Beckham wore them, with the tongue strapped down. Beckham could wear a bin bag and still look the best, to be fair. As a kid I used to think I could curl it around anything when I had them on. "Look at the spin on the ball. It's because of the grip!"
Oasis: Liam or Noel?
I love them both, but Liam just because he's the frontman and that's pretty cool. They need to get back together. That would sort everything out.
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Midfielder: Frank Lampard or Steven Gerrard?
They're both legends, but I'm going to pick Gerrard. I were lucky enough to train with both of them at England and they were the best I've seen. They had the aura of what they'd already achieved, but they worked so hard and some of their finishing was the best I've ever seen. They demanded a lot from everyone around them. They were physically strong, could run all day and their technique was world class.
Referee: Mike Dean or Mark Clattenburg?
Mike Dean, just because of his beard at the moment. My brother sent me the clip of him running off a celebrating goal and ever since then, he's been the one for me.
Work with one: Pep Guardiola or Jurgen Klopp?
Pep Guardiola. Every time you play against Manchester City, it's so difficult. They make it so hard for you. [SPORTbible: Is that a bit of Spanish bias?] Maybe a little bit [laughs]. He'll try to speak to me in Spanish and I wouldn't be able to say anything.
Defender: Virgil van Dijk or Vincent Kompany?
Van Dijk. I've played with him and managed to get to know him as a person. He's a great guy. For me, he's the best in the world. When he came to Southampton, I watched him play and thought he could play in any position, in any team. He's that good.
Away ground: Anfield or Old Trafford?
That's difficult. I'd say Old Trafford, just because when I were growing up my dad liked to watch United. That was the one place I were looking forward to stepping out on and when I did get there, it was a pinch yourself moment. I was like, 'I'm walking out here rather than just watching.' Then we, as lads, talk about Anfield before the game when they bring out You'll Never Walk Alone. That's something that gives you chills every time you're there.
Best Rodriguez: James Rodriguez or Jay Rodriguez?
[Laughs] It's got to be James, hasn't it? He's miles better than me. [SPORTbible: Will we ever see Jay Rodriguez bring out a Colombian shuffle after scoring?] I can try, but I'd probably fall over and injure myself.
VAR or no VAR?
VAR. It's sorted out all the ifs and buts and stuff, but obviously I think there's still work to do.
Player of the season: Kevin De Bruyne or Jordan Henderson?
In terms of ability and performances it's probably De Bruyne's year every year, but I'd say Henderson for what he's done at Liverpool this season, his work ethic, his quality and his journey to get to where he is.
Rather watch: Sunderland 'Til I Die or Man City: All or Nothing?
All or Nothing. I loved watching it, just to get an insight into how they are, how they work and how passionate they are. It was really good.
Non-league baller: Ricky Lambert or Charlie Austin?
Oh god that's tough. I enjoyed playing with both of them, but I'd have to say Ricky Lambert. I've learned a lot from him. When I moved down to Southampton he helped me a lot, on and off the field. He's a good guy. He was such a good technical footballer and had all the physical attributes to do the hard stuff.
Ronaldo: Brazilian or Cristiano?
Brazilian. I watched him growing up and even when you watch his clips now you can see he's one of the best players to have ever played the game. The stuff he could do was amazing.
Free-kick to win the game: James Ward-Prowse or Roberto Carlos?
Because he's my mate, I've got to say Ward-Prowse. He works so hard on his technique, the amount of free-kicks he scores is no surprise.
Tekkers: Sadio Mane or Daniel Sturridge?
Sadio Mane. I had the pleasure of getting to know him and playing alongside him at Southampton. He's unbelievable, so effective, so skilful and so clever with his movements. It's so good to see him doing so well.
Rather play: Premier League with pals or Sunday League with teammates?
Play Premier League football with my mates. When I finish and I'm going to play Sunday League with the lads, that's if I can make it on their team. They always say that I probably won't make the starting line-up. Pay my £5 subs and be a little cheerleader for them. [SPORTbible: How would your mates fair in the Premier League?] They'd be terrible, awful. They're the first to give it some as well. They'll hammer me after a game and I'll be like, 'Well you put yourself in that position' and they're like, 'Yeah, I probably wouldn't do that well, would I?' No, you wouldn't, mate. They're good craic, they love it.
Hairstyle: Slick back or ponytail?
Has to be a ponytail. Can't be slicked back, especially as I get too much grief for this [points to his head]. I get a lot of stick from everyone about my hair. I once got called Barry Gibb [of the Bee Gees] in an American airport. Ashley Westwood loves the Barry Gibb shout.
Dinner: Paella or Lancashire hot pot?
God, that's tore me in two that, ain't it? My grandma would tell me to say paella, but I'm going to say Lancashire hot pot, that's where I've been brought up.
Chat: Text or call?
Call, definitely. I think I'm the worst on my phone. I'd rather ring someone and get it out of the way.
All imagery: PA Images
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