Freddie Flintoff has opened up about the mental health condition that he hid from his teammates throughout his England career.
Flintoff, 47, is one of the best known cricket players ever to represent England, winning two Ashes series in 2005 and 2009 while also playing for Lancashire.
Following his cricket career, Flintoff has gone on to enjoy a career in television while also working as a coach.
Tragically, in December 2022, Flintoff was involved in a serious accident while co-hosting a new series of the beloved motorsports series Top Gear at Dunsfold Aerodrome in Surrey.
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Since the crash, Flintoff has spoken candidly about the impact it has had on his life, but it isn't the only struggle that Flintoff has dealt with during his career, as the England legend has also spoken up about a condition that plagued him throughout his playing career.
Wiring in his new autobiography titled Freddie Flintoff: Coming Home: The Moments That Made Me the England legend spoke candidly about the difficulty he faced when met with unfair comments and criticism about his appearance in the media.
In one instance early in his England career, he recalled speaking with a reporter post-match that had been among those attacking him for being 'too fat' or 'unfit', leaving Flintoff 'hurting, embarrassed and questioning' his existence.
The encounter led to Flintoff hitting back at the reporter, something that he confessed didn't do anything to make him feel better, admitting: "I'm not right and I haven't been for a while. Why? Because I've been making myself sick."
The 47-year-old goes on to detail his struggles with Bulimia, an eating disorder that leads to someone 'purging' their body of the food or drink by forcing themselves to vomit.
Flintoff explained that this initially started after nights of drinking alcohol that led to him wanting to get it out of him to minimise the fat and reduce his hangover, but this quickly became something more sinister.
He admitted that making himself sick after eating or drinking what he deemed to be 'too much' felt like it was the price that he had to pay in order to keep the press off his back and continue playing for England.
"No one knows about it. I'm sitting in dressing rooms with blokes I've played with for years and no one has a clue," Flintoff revealed.
"I'm the one cracking jokes, flicking towels, being the clown, then I nip off for five minutes, empty my stomach into a toilet bowl and look in the mirror afterwards and feel disgusted."
He admitted that he knew it was unsustainable but couldn't stop himself as he continued to struggle with the horrific mental health condition that started quietly but became worse as the media continued to speak about his weight.
Although he knew he couldn't keep doing it, he felt that it was his way of taking control of the situation, despite the fact that this was far from the truth.
India 2001 was when Flintoff said the condition 'really took hold' of his life as he would eat with his teammates, avoiding meals like curry because it was harder to throw up, then disappear to the toilets to purge the food.
Even his girlfriend at the time was unaware of his struggles for several months, despite the fact he lost 10kg during the tour.
Flintoff has suffered with bulimia for over 20 years, since he was 20 years old, but has now found strength in speaking out about his struggles with the condition and confronting it head on both in his book and a the BBC One documentary called Freddie Flintoff: Living With Bulimia.
Now, the England star has managed to hold off the negative thoughts, talking about them with his loved ones when needed, and hasn't been sick in years.
If you are anyone you know is struggling with Bulimia or any other eating disorder and need help, you can reach out to Beat Eating Disorders online or on their helplines.
Topics: Cricket
Ben McCrum