Australia Breathes A Collective Sigh Of Relief As Daniel Sturridge Finally Finds A Barber
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It's the news we've all been waiting to hear.
Daniel Sturridge's desperate search to find a barber in Perth has finally reached its conclusion.
That's right, the former Premier League striker seems to have found the right man for the job and he's absolutely buzzing for it.
"Finally found my barber. Good vibes," Sturridge said on his Instagram story.
"He was tyna trim for free and talking about his CV. I said bro, you know that was a joke right. I warned him don't use the line 'pay me what you want'. name your price because that's your price.
"Banter aside, thanks for the help everyone who has DM'd me and got involved in the vibes. Some really funny responses which helped me get through quarantine.
"Shout out to all my barbers in Perth.
"See you soon when I can breathe some fresh air in Perth."
The entire nation of Australia was put on red alert when Sturridge made a public service announcement calling for a hairdresser to sort out his quarantine trim.
The hilarious list of demands sent barbers from all areas of the country into a frenzy, who instantly bombarded the Perth Glory recruit with applications and resumes showcasing their bodies of work.
Sturridge wrote to his 3.5m followers: "Need a barber in Perth WA on Thursday. Only put your CV forward if you're top level.
"You see the vibes, crispy clean, smooth like I wash my face with cake soap.
"If you've never cut hair like mine, don't bother putting your CV forward, my hairline is important to me. It's straight. I don't want to leave AU with an M-head hairline.
"Please proceed to put your CV forward if, after all, I've said you still fit the description.
"Top-level [craftsmanship], barber level on 1,000 but don't charge anywhere near that much, if you do you are out of the running.
"Shaky hands I rebuke you. Don't bluff me. I'm gonna look on your profile. If your pics ain't good, don't bother putting your CV forward -- you are out the running.
"I had time today. Well, I have time every day I'm in quarantine. Still. Bye for now."
The 32-year-old was initially unsatisfied with the applications he received, forcing him to post a follow-up message.
"If I look on your profile and you don't have one black [person's] hair that you have cut, I do not intend to be the first," he added.
"Unfortunately, you aren't qualified to cut my hair. I do not intend to be the first afro hairline you butcher, It takes many years to perfect.
"I love my fans, but you're taking it too far with some of these profiles you're sending me. I will end up with the 'Ye' and that does not fit the description of the haircut I require.
"I do not want to have to tell you to cut my hair forward to engineer my waves back, you should already know the vibes.
"I repeat, if one black [person's] hair isn't on your profile, I'm sorry, but you do not fit the description. I do not intend to be the first.
"Please revoke your CV and unsend your DM. Thank you. Perth WA. D Studgie D from quarantine."
Well, it appears Sturridge has finally found the right barber.
The ex-Liverpool and Chelsea front man is still undergoing his mandatory 14-day hotel isolation in Perth.
But if you had to hazard a guess at his first stop after leaving quarantine, it's probably safe to say it won't be seeing his new Glory teammates first thing.
Featured Image Credit: Twitter/Instagram/Daniel Sturridge
Topics: Football News, Daniel Sturridge, Football, A-League, Perth Glory, Australia