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Greggs' sensational thread of footballers as items on their menu is comedy gold

Daniel Marland

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Greggs' sensational thread of footballers as items on their menu is comedy gold

Greggs' thread of footballers as items on their menu has broken the internet.

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The British bakery chain proved 2022 is the year of random crossovers on Friday morning when they combined the world's best players with their menu.

Nine different players were chosen and English fans will be familiar with them all.

First up was Manchester City striker Erling Haaland, who had the honour of being a Sausage Roll. A solid fan favourite.

Haaland joined City from Borussia Dortmund in the summer and has scored a whopping 11 goals in seven Premier League games. That includes two hat-tricks and 'inevitable' sums him up perfectly.

Greggs tweeted: "Inevitable. Unsurpassed. Makes you feel bad for the rest. Never misses."

Haaland. (Image Credit: Greggs)
Haaland. (Image Credit: Greggs)

Sticking with the summer arrivals for player two, Greggs compared Manchester United central defender Lisandro Martinez to Spicy BBQ Chicken Bites.

The 24-year-old is already a fan favourite at Old Trafford, excelling at the back despite standing at five foot nine.

He comes up against Haaland in the Manchester derby this weekend and it'll be his toughest test so far.

Haaland isn't the only City player included, with fellow forward Jack Grealish earning the title of Pink Jammy Doughnut. Why is that? Greggs state: "Flashy and a bit indulgent for some, but hard to resist." Very fair.

Tottenham Hotspur's Ben Davies is called 'an underrated king' and likened to a Cheese And Onion Bake.

Borussia Dortmund sensation Jude Bellingham is an obscure Cajun Chicken And Rice Salad, which could become a big deal in the future.

Liverpool goalkeeper Alisson makes his way into the list as a reliable Sausage Breakfast Roll, while Newcastle United cult hero Bruno Guimaraes is an 'irresistible' Yum-Yum.

Lisandro Martinez.
Lisandro Martinez.
Jack Grealish
Jack Grealish
Ben Davies.
Ben Davies.
Jude Bellingham.
Jude Bellingham.


Alisson.
Alisson.
Bruno Guimaraes.
Bruno Guimaraes.

The final two players included are Bukayo Saka and Bruno Fernandes, with differing descriptions.

Saka impressed for England during Monday's 3-3 draw with Germany and he's regarded as a top talent.

That, on top of the Arsenal winger's infectious personality, means he's a Sausage, Bean And Cheese Melt. "A bit of everything in one perfect package. Loved by everyone."

Fernandes, meanwhile, is given a less favourable review. The Portugal international is a Festive Bake which on the face of it is a compliment.

Dig a little deeper and you'll see: "Sensational for a few weeks but then disappears."

Bukayo Saka.
Bukayo Saka.
Bruno Fernandes
Bruno Fernandes

Brutal stuff.

Featured Image Credit: Greggs

Topics: Erling Haaland, Premier League, Bruno Fernandes, Lisandro Martinez, Bukayo Saka, Jack Grealish, Jude Bellingham, Alisson

Daniel Marland

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