The TAB Everest: Our Brutally-Honest Analysis Of Every Horse's Name
Most punters want to see the in-depth analysis into every horse's form and performance ahead of The TAB Everest - and rightly so.
But here, we've decided to take a slightly different approach.
For those of you tossing and turning at night over which horses to pick in your multis, we've come up with a genius way to make the whole process a bit simpler.
Forget about all the statistics and figures, what you should really be focusing on is something way more important.
This, right here, is our honest and brutal assessment of every TAB Everest horse's name ahead of Australia's richest race this weekend!
Some of them are absolute corkers while others are, umm, different shall we say...
For all your latest odds on The TAB Everest, CLICK HERE.
1. Nature Strip ($4.20)
Not sure of the origins of this name but it's giving us very environmentally friendly vibes. Don't know why, but hey.
2. Classique Legend ($4.20)
The 2020 winner of The TAB Everest returns to defend his title this year. A legendary name for a legendary horse.
3. Eduardo ($6)
Decent enough name. Formally known as Eddie to his mates. Two months backpacking around Central America and he proclaims to have "found his roots".
4. Gytrash ($7.50)
Again, not sure of exactly where this nickname originated - but it's cool nonetheless. Will roll off the tongue well when I'm screaming at my television on Saturday arvo.
5. Trekking ($34)
Trekking back and forth to the ATM after a few botched "insider" tips from your mate. "Trust me bro, my dad's mate's colleague's brother's aunty told me this one is a shoo-in."
6. Masked Crusader ($9)
With most of the horses donning a racing mask, I guess this nickname does what it says on the tin. Clever.
7. Wild Ruler ($51)
Most people probably picture a crazy dictator or leader when you say 'wild ruler', but we actually thought of one of those flexy rulers you used to have stored away in your high school pencil case. Vital piece of kit.
8. The Inferno ($23)
If a 12-year-old me donning spiked-up hair and knee-sliding at the school disco was to ever get my hands on a horse, this would be the sort of name I'd go with. No nonsense.
9. Embracer ($61)
That sloppy overly-affectionate mate that loves dishing out a few hugs after a couple of beers. "You're my boy bro, I love you."
10. Lost And Running ($19)
Powderfinger fans will love this one (yes, we had to look up who they were too). The song is actually alright, but the video clip is, umm, different - honestly, check it out on YouTube.
11. Libertini ($34)
Sounds like a swanky underground cocktail bar in the city which charges you $50 for two gin and tonics. Great atmosphere though.
12. Home Affairs ($10)
Giving off some serious immigration and border protection undertones. Weird flex but OK.
13. Kementari ($81)
Again, really not sure of the origins of this one. Unfortunately, goggle isn't giving us much either. Cool nickname nonetheless, Kementari.
14. Signore Fox ($126)
Love this. Giving off some seriously strong Fantastic Mr. Fox vibes... if Roald Dahl was Italian, of course.
15. Standout ($126)
"And Standout is the winner of the 2021 TAB Everest!" Nice, I like what you guys did there.
16. Chat ($151)
Me pretending to have a nice casual chat to all the bookies, but deep down inside I'm panicking as I desperately try and chase my losses.