30 Years Ago, Homer Simpson Won The Springfield Nuclear Power Plant A Legendary Softball Championship
"If I want you to bunt, I will touch my belt buckle not once, not twice, but thrice."
30 years ago this weekend, Homer Simpson sealed a historic softball championship victory for the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant with a single hit.
If you haven't watched 'Homer at the Bat', one of the greatest episodes of The Simpsons ever, let's give you a rundown.
The Springfield Nuclear Power Plant softball team is truly terrible, having won two and lost 28 of their previous 30 games.
Step forward Lenny Leonard, Carl Carlson and most importantly, Homer with 'Wonder Bat'.
Made out of a fallen tree branch that was struck by lightning, Homer leads his co-workers to the championship game against their bitter rivals of Shelbyville Power Plant.
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On the field it's all smiles for Homer and his pals. But off it, Mr Burns is locked in an intense rivalry with Shelbyville Power Plant owner Aristotle Amadopolis.
Burns ends up betting a whopping $1 million on his team winning the championship and to do that, he enlists the help of some huge names.
To secure victory, Burns hires 90s Major League Baseball stars Steve Sax, Wade Boggs, Ozzie Smith, Roger Clemens, Don Mattingly, Darryl Strawberry, Ken Griffey Jr., Jose Canseco and Mike Scioscia (after asking for a number who have been dead for many years) and gives them all jobs at the plant.
The team are distraught at the lengths Burns will go to and he employs a hypnotist (who can't get more than 100% because it's impossible) while also giving the team a brain and nerve tonic (more on this later.)
Wonder Bat is destroyed in training by a Clemens pitch and it looks like our beloved underdogs will be cast to the side.
That is, until a series of extraordinary circumstances. Check them all out below:
- Steve Sax is arrested by Springfield Police after being accused of every single murder in New York City
- Wade Boggs loses a bar fight to Barney Gumble after getting into an argument over former British Prime Ministers Pitt the Elder or Lord Palmerston. It was some knockout punch too
- Ozzie Smith disappears after spending an afternoon at the Springfield Mystery Spot. He was warned that once you go in, you may never come out
- Roger Clemens ends up becoming a chicken after intense hypnotherapy
- Ken Griffey Jr. overdoses on brain and nerve tonic, leading to a shocking case of gigantism
- Jose Canseco ends up saving a woman's cat, baby and furniture in a house fire
- Mike Scioscia develops radiation poisoning after working at the power plant for too long
- Don Mattingly never shaves those sideburns
Darryl Strawberry plays the game, not without emotional damage. Daaarrryl... Daaarrryl... Daaarrryl.
Strawberry being available means Homer ends up being benched as they play the same position.
Burns shockingly puts his faith in Homer at the last moment however, bringing him on for Strawberry as he's a right-handed hitter.
The 104-year-old theorises it'll put him at an advantage against a left-handed pitcher.
After laying out meticulous instructions (not once, not twice, but thrice!) Homer steps up.
Burns continues to make his gestures on the touchline and it distracts Homer, who ends up taking a ball straight to the head.
He collapses to the ground knocked out and technically scores the winning run and the championship.
The episode ends and Homer is paraded as a hero, while he's still knocked out.
During the credits, with get 'Talkin' Softball' which runs down the historic victory. It'll never, ever be repeated.
Topics: Baseball
Daniel Marland