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Chelsea lost their Champions League quarter-final first leg to Real 3-1, just days after being battered 4-1 by Brentford.
Karim Benzema destroyed Tuchel's team, scoring a sublime hat-trick ahead of next week's second leg.
The manner of his team's performance at Stamford Bridge angered the German boss, who slammed the showing against the La Liga leaders.
He also bemoaned his side's standards in the first half and admits it was one of the 'worst halves' he's seen since taking charge.
"If we keep on playing like this we will lose in Southampton and then we don't need to think about the Bernabéu - we will get hammered in Bernabéu."— Football on BT Sport (@btsportfootball) April 6, 2022
Thomas Tuchel isn't mincing his words this evening 😡
🎙 @TheDesKelly | #UCL pic.twitter.com/vMo33viXQz
"It’s a heavy loss. One of the worst first halves I’ve seen from us at Stamford Bridge," he told BT Sport.
"At this level you cannot play like this, individually and a team, from all of us it was not enough. We were not doing what we are used to do, it was far from our standards.
"Everything, when we pass, where we pass, attacking, possession game, the intensity and desire to win challenges, how we closed spaces. The first half was so far from any standards we set ourselves that we cannot complain when we lose like this."
Tuchel insists if Chelsea repeat that level of performance, then they'll lose at Southampton and at the Bernabeu.
He added: "If we play like this, we will lose in Southampton and then we don’t need to think about Bernabeu because we will get hammered in Bernabeu."
Des Kelly then commented on Tuchel being 'downcast' to which he replied in spiky fashion: "What do you expect from me? To smile? Of course I am down."
Asked about the trip to Spain for the second leg, Tuchel replied: "No, we don’t have to go to Madrid, we have to go to Southampton.
"I think this is very, very important we process this. It’s crucial we go to Southampton, and I will make sure everyone processes this."
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