When I'm 40 years of age, I imagine I'll be stockpiling comfy grey jogging bottoms and Googling which doctor performs the most reliable hair transplant operations. Francesco Totti, on the other hand, celebrated four decades on Earth earlier this week and is still comfortably the most mercurial footballer on the planet.
The 'Giallorossi' dispatched Astra Giurgiu 4-0, last night, with their captain disposing of the Romanian outfit with a level of unerring comfort that West Ham couldn't muster in two attempts during Europa League qualifying.
Totti's first half free kick was turned in by Kevin Strootman, scoring his first goal at the Stadio Olimpico in 967 days after a series of injury lay offs. 'Il Gladiatore' then thundered another set piece like an Exocet missile against the crossbar, with Federico Fazio heading home the rebound. Totti saved the best for last, though, as his inch perfect 30-yard through ball was lofted onto the toes of Mohammed Salah to prod past the advancing goalkeeper.
Ni Pelé ni Maradona hacían lo que hace Francesco Totti a los 40 años. Leyenda inconmensurable del fútbol mundial. pic.twitter.com/r0gHC6Fn5L- Mundo Romanista (@MundoRomanista) September 29, 2016
La GRAN asistencia de Francesco Totti para el cuarto gol de la Roma ante el Astra. Gran definición de Mohamed Salahpic.twitter.com/HMBJjGYln8- Shalom Sports (@Shalom_Sports) September 29, 2016
Oh and in the midst of all that, Totti also dizzied the entire Astra defence with a backheel so nonchalant it looks as if he almost couldn't be arsed to actually do it:
Here's hoping the Roma hierarchy see sense and reward 'Il Capitano' with a new, 10-year contract. It's far too soon for the world to be robbed of his talents.
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