Raw Hot Dogs, Ice Cream Nachos, Cremated Pies… 10 Of The Most Stomach-Churning Submissions To Footy Scran
For better or worse, food at football is no longer just the simple pie, a tray of chips or a cup of Bovril.
The modern fan now has a wide range of cuisines to choose from on a matchday, and the options seem to be ever-growing.
One Twitter account, Footy Scran, has taken social media by storm this season with its attempt to document the very best and worst fare on offer at grounds around the country.
Here, we look at 10 of the most repulsive submissions...
Pizza slice – West Brom
Pizza slice at West Brom (@WBA)
— Footy Scran (@FootyScran) January 22, 2022
£4 pic.twitter.com/fEjwY0fNC2
Mamma mia! Show this piece of cardboard on the streets of Naples and be prepared to throw hands.
We’ve all managed to overcook a frozen pizza in the oven. But most of us didn’t have the cheek to charge £4 for a quarter of the charred remains.
Italy, we can only apologise.
Hot Dog – Lancaster City
Hot dog at Lancaster City FC (@LancasterCityFC)
— Footy Scran (@FootyScran) January 31, 2022
💷 £4 pic.twitter.com/qIS95gmCyl
Steak tartare, sushi, sashimi. Raw food can be a delicacy for those adventurous enough to try it, but you would have to have the stomach of Bear Grylls to give this one a go.
A deeply troubling grey colour, this hot dog looks like a claim waiting to happen.
The generous serving of ketchup merely appears to be a half-hearted attempt to conceal the horror going on below.
Ignore at your own peril!
Burger – USA
We regret everything. Absolutely everything. https://t.co/OPubZF8Bu7 pic.twitter.com/0EP2rM4COw
— Footy Scran (@FootyScran) January 28, 2022
A close relative of the anaemic hot dog, this unidentified meat slab was sent in from a fan across the pond.
Is it pork? Could it be chicken? Your guess is as good as mine. All I know is that is resembles a hockey puck and looks completely devoid of flavour.
Like a synthetic food humans are forced to eat in a futuristic sci-fi film. The gruel from The Matrix, in solidified form.
Loaded fries – Watford
Loaded fries at Watford (@WatfordFC)
— Footy Scran (@FootyScran) January 21, 2022
💷 £4 pic.twitter.com/lj9HVmfJD6
Is there some sort of rationing going on in Watford that the rest of the country is unaware of?
These fries are only loaded in the sense that you’d have to be incredibly rich to consider them a fair price, or be so leathered that it didn’t matter.
Even though it looks like a free sample you’d get in a supermarket, this ‘meal’ actually costs four British pounds. That’s 80p per chip, based on my count.
The weird combination of what appears to be jalapeños and crispy onions only adds insult to injury, as does the unidentified yellow slurry lurking at the bottom.
Ice cream nachos – Chicago Fire
Ice cream Nacho’s at Chicago fire (@ChicagoFire)
— Footy Scran (@FootyScran) January 17, 2022
💵 $10 pic.twitter.com/tJ1KTwzljM
Another shocker from the land of the free, this looks like something TGI Friday’s forgot to invent.
Nachos and ice cream… does that qualify as fusion food?
While it may be edible, which puts it above pretty much everything else on this list, it clearly has no business being served at a football match.
Hot dog – Derby County
Half cooked hot dog at Derby County (@dcfcofficial)
— Footy Scran (@FootyScran) January 16, 2022
💷 £4.50 pic.twitter.com/8hpb0EInFk
Arguably worse than the raw hot dog served in Lancaster, is the deceptive half-cooked version on offer at Derby County.
This one tempts you in with the illusion of edibility, only to reveal several worrying shades of pink after the first bite.
Eagle-eyed supporters may spot it in time to avoid disaster but you can guarantee the majority won’t notice their mistake until the following day.
Sausage roll – Tottenham
What on earth is that?! 🤣🤣 https://t.co/Xkc3aHH8fB
— Footy Scran (@FootyScran) January 9, 2022
Just look at it.
Burger – Crystal Palace
Oh no. https://t.co/IMudMcYeLz
— Footy Scran (@FootyScran) December 28, 2021
It appears that the Fyre Festival caterers have once again found work and are now flogging burgers down at Crystal Palace.
There's something incredibly depressing about this one. Maybe it’s the slimy yellow substance chucked on top.
Is it lettuce? Cheese perhaps? Either way it's going in the bin.
Pie – Tottenham
Decent https://t.co/2Be4p5uH50
— Footy Scran (@FootyScran) December 10, 2021
Where to begin with this one. Tottenham appear to have rescued this helpless pie from a house fire before serving it to their fans.
Whatever the filling was, it’s long since evaporated – leaving behind a strange half-burned, half-normal crust. The Harvey Dent of the pie world.
As if watching Spurs play wasn’t hard enough…
Sausage Roll – Airdrieonians
Sausage roll at Airdrieonians FC (@AirdrieoniansFC)
— Footy Scran (@FootyScran) November 19, 2021
💷 £2 pic.twitter.com/j3NEvUSR4c
No, this isn’t a TV remote.
It may look like an electronic device, but it is actually the scorched remains of a sausage roll.
While it is completely inedible, it has hardened enough to be used a threatening weapon should you want to go and claim your £2 back.
Topics: Premier League, EFL Championship, Football
Rory O'Callaghan