Callum Wilson opens up on time he considered taking his own life in heartfelt admission

Newcastle United striker Callum Wilson has opened up about how seeing a therapist helped him with childhood trauma, which led to “suicidal moments”.

Warning: This article contains discussion of suicide, which some readers may find distressing

Wilson, 33, discussed the topic during an episode of The High Performance Podcast.

The Newcastle United forward explained how he was the eldest of six children and lived with his mum, who was a single parent.

The England international also had spells in foster care and received help from food banks, as well as revealing how his mother had suffered domestic abuse.

He said he had “suicidal moments” at the age of 12 and recalled thinking “this can't be all that life has to offer”.

"There was more out there for me,” Wilson said.

Callum Wilson opened up (Credit:Getty)

“A higher power was calling me, and football really was my saviour. It was my escape.

"My mum didn't drive, so I'd always be picked up by my Sunday league coach. When I would leave my home environment, I was going into a family feel with my peers.

"My coach was fantastic. He had a nice family, and they would sometimes get me food on the way home.

"I got that love and care that I probably wasn't getting as much at my house - that was not by choice and no fault of my mum's. The environment was dictating who I was becoming. Football was what helped me get away from it all."

Wilson said he sought help from a therapist around a year ago after an exchange with a Newcastle physio during a gym session.

"What I've realised is when football and life are going great, you can block it out," added Wilson, who is out of contract at Newcastle in June.

"I've had a period over the past 18 months where I've had setback after setback, things just got on top and basically it was too much to suppress. It all rose to a head, and I was like: 'I need to seek therapy now.'

"I was at a point where I was starting to go back down the wrong path, little things were creeping in like gambling, and I didn't want to become that person, so I needed professional help.

"It took a bit of bravery to realise that, as strong as I feel my mind is at times, you also can speak. Even just speaking to her [the therapist] was a great help."

He continued: "Once I started speaking, and revealed everything I've been through in life, she was like ‘Wow, how have you got to this point already without not seeing a therapist?’

“I speak to my wife about it, but I didn't want to blur the lines with our relationship.

"She's not my therapist, she's my wife and the mother of my children, so I didn't want to burden her with problems.

"You can speak to a therapist and it does feel a sense of relief afterwards.

“It's an investment in yourself and more than worth it. I'm probably learning a lot about myself now - little traits that I have that were obviously triggered by things as a kid. I'm really happy.”

If you're experiencing distressing thoughts and feelings, the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is there to support you. They're open from 5pm–midnight, 365 days a year. Their national number is 0800 58 58 58 and they also have a webchat service if you're not comfortable talking on the phone.