Incredible Twitter Thread Ranks Each Premier League Manager As Your Step-Dad

Some of these are so unbelievably accurate...

Josh Lawless

Published Jul 1, 2020, 08:41:58 GMT+1Last updated Jul 1, 2020, 08:45:05 GMT+1

A football fan decided to put together an incredible Twitter thread ranking each Premier League manager on how they would perform if they became your step-dad.

Barnsley fan @CaddysWmc got a bit bored on Monday afternoon and decided to use his creativity by hilariously analysing the likes of Jurgen Klopp and Pep Guardiola if they were to win your Mum's heart and enter your life by default.

The thread, which has since gone viral, sees each manager get a rating out of 10 on how good a step-dad they would be - with some expert pros and cons. It's just complete and utter gold and exactly what superb content you can stumble across on Twitter.

CadWMC 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

@CadWMC

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Current Premier league managers rated as yer step dad A thread:

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Arsenal - Mikel Arteta Pros: Has a decent size house that smells nice and keeps out of your way. Buys the family a sky sports package and a dominoes his first weekend in the gaff Cons: makes your actual dad look bad Full wardrobe is from the littlewoods catalogue 7/10

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Aston Villa - Dean Smith Pros: Decent car and will give you lifts to school/college/work etc. (But will make you feel bad for asking too) Cons Likely to be one of your dads best mates who's betrayed him and have dick head kids who are now your defacto family 5/10

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Bournemouth - Eddie Howe Pros: Wouldn't have the bollocks to shout at you and has decent chat. Is fair with sharing the telly Cons: Passive Aggressive and asks yer maw to ask you to do stuff for him. Likely to try too hard. Insists on everyone sitting together to eat

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Brighton - Graham Potter Pros: Decent level of banter without trying too hard, makes yer ma laugh and is fair around the house. Cons: Exclusively wears sketchers and outdoor gear on the weekends Makes your family spend weekends doing shite hikes in the cairngorms (7.5/10)

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Burnely - Sean Dyche Cons: Tries to assert his dominance in the house and goes mental over the smallest thing Has 0 banter and dominates the telly remote (let's you know he's the one paying for sky) Pros: Not averse to getting a takeaway in on the weekend (4/10)

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Chelsea - Frank Lampard Cons: Tries to act cool and offers to let you wear his clothes. Got young kids of his own who live with you on weekends. Definition of all the gear and no idea. Pros: Decent Gaff, Car and chat. Moderate with in house disputes. Decent at FIFA (8/10)

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Crystal Palace - Roy Hodgson Cons: Bit too old for yer ma in your opinion. Big house that smells weird. Weirdly militant about watching The One Show. Pros: Decent guy around the house, nips you anywhere you like in "the jag", decent clobber for an older bloke (6/10)

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Everton - Ancelotti Cons: definitely too old for yer maw and a bit of a temper. Always shouts at you in Italian. Absolute banter vacuum. Shit car for someone with his money. Pros: Not arsed about the telly cos he spends most of his time reading the paper. 4.5/10

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Leicester - Brendan Rodgers Cons: Awful taste in music, films, food & telly. Weirdly confrontational about small stuff. cuts about in those tinted sunglasses that only middle aged men wear (you know the ones). No banter & thinks he's hilarious Pros: No kids of his own. (3/10)

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Liverpool - Jurgen Klopp Cons: will absolutely smash the crisps, especially your favourite flavours. Decent Banter, but gives it you infront of your mates. Pros: Sky sports, takeaways and PS5 secured. decent at sharing the telly. Let's you put your tunes on in the car. 8.5/10

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Man City - Pep Guardiola Cons: Really protective over his gear So much as smell his aftershave without his permission & he's banging on your bedroom door fuming. Pros: Top level of banter but knows when to leave it. sorts out class family holidays. Not stingy with lifts 8.5/10

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Man Utd - OGS Cons: The type of bloke who you just laugh at when he's mad but that also just makes you feel sorry for him. You can't understand what yer ma sees in the guy at all. Pros: Generally an okay bloke, doesn't get mad too often, decent taste in music & clothes 6/10

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Newcastle UTD - Steve Bruce Cons: A little bit on the older side, & a bit of a disciplinarian around the gaff but consistent with this & generally fair. Pros: top level of banter for an old bloke & loves a chippy tea. Happy to share a few cans with you too on the weekend 9/10

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Nowrich - Farke This guy screams dickhead step dad Cons: isn't into football, only watches skiing & snowboarding on eurosport. Exclusively drinks red wine so never has any cans in to share Pros: massively expands your snack horizons with a fine selection of deli meats. 4/10

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Sheff Utd - Chris Wilder Cons - Packs the fridge out with honking food like crab sticks, spam & half eaten tins of beans Pros - consistently good birthday/Christmas presents, gets you cheap driving lessons too cos his best mate from down the pub is an instructor 7/10

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Sthampton - Ralphie H Cons: favourite films are the Bourne supremacy, The Bourne Ultimatum, & Jason Bourne. Pros: decent around the gaff, dece car and dece banter. He's set apart by a steady vinyl collection & a mate who regularly gets hold of special edition trainers 8.5/10

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Spurs - Mourinho Cons: blames anything that goes wrong in the house on someone else, if he farts he blames it on the dog Pros: Smashes the big occasions, elite tier banter at weddings, family do's etc. has everyone in stitches. Makes you feel at ease. Decent dancer too. 6/10

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Watford - Pearson Cons: Shocking temper, come to blows a few times over the telly remote and last sausage roll. Absolute fascist when it comes to the car radio and only listens to radio 4. Pros: literally none, you're going to stop at your dads for a bit, see how it goes 3/10

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West Ham United - Moyes Cons: "listen, I know I'll never replace yer da & I know all about replacing people, but a was hoping we could be mates, for yer maw's sake..." Pros: steady performer in snack, car, house manner and holliday departments just a bit "meh" 5/10

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Wolves - N.E.S Cons: orders takeaway but it has to be "interesting cuisine" sushi, a little Ethiopian dish, anything with the word "fusion" in it Pros: Good laugh in the house & got a banging time share in the algarve you'll get to use on your own when you're old enough 7/10

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Some are unbelievably accurate. Sean Dyche would definitely be in charge of the TV remote and remind you he pays for Sky, while you can easily imagine Eddie Howe insisting everyone in the family eats together.

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Graham Potter does indeed look like a hiking enthusiast who only wears sketchers and outdoor attire, Jose Mourinho would no doubt blame everything on anyone but himself and we're sure Sheffield United boss Chris Wilder could get you cheaper driving lessons from his mate down the pub.

As for Nigel Pearson as your new old man, you can't tell us he wouldn't kick off big time if you had the last sausage roll.

Image: PA

Meanwhile the sentence, "Listen, I know I'll never replace yer da" reeks of David Moyes, especially given his difficulty to succeed Sir Alex Ferguson at Manchester United.

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There are strong ratings for the likes of Guardiola, Klopp and Ralph Hasenhuttl but it's Steve Bruce who comes out on top. Despite being seen as a disciplinarian around the house, his banter, love for a chippy tea and selfless sharing of his beers would make him a very popular step-dad.

Featured Image Credit:

Topics: Football, Premier League

Josh is a sports journalist who specialises in football and wrestling. He has been published by Curzon Ashton FC, Late Tackle, Manchester City FC, The Mirror, Read Man City and Manchester Evening News. He provides coverage of professional wrestling and has interviewed some of the biggest names in the field - including the first UK interview with The Hardy Boyz after their return to WWE. He has never sported a pair of Lonsdale Slip-ons, contrary to reports.

@https://twitter.com/JoshLawless_

Incredible Twitter Thread Ranks Each Premier League Manager As Your Step-Dad

Some of these are so unbelievably accurate...

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