Advert

Latest

41 minutes ago
Advert
an hour ago
Advert

Most Popular

3 days ago
Advert

Mike Bassett's "Four-Four-F*****g-Two" Press Conference Is 20 Years Old This Year

Mike Bassett's "Four-Four-F*****g-Two" Press Conference Is 20 Years Old This Year

It's the morning after his unfortunate drunken incident and, after cameras catch him dancing on a bar half-naked while hurling abuse at Brazilian legend Pele, England manager Mike Bassett is expected to step down from his managerial position with the national side.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I've had a long, hard think about the events of the last few days," Bassett announces in a press conference to the media. "And I've had to make one of the hardest decisions in my life to date...

"I've decided to carry on as the England manager."

Image: Mike Bassett: England Manager
Image: Mike Bassett: England Manager
Advert
Image: Mike Bassett: England Manager
Image: Mike Bassett: England Manager

Can you believe it? It has been 20 years this year since Mike Bassett - a man considered by many as one of the all-time greats - gave one of the most iconic speeches in film history. The journey, however, was far from straight-forward.

The news that he would carry on as England manager didn't go down well with the media, especially after captain Gary 'Wacko' Wackett was sent home for taking part in hooliganism and playmaker Tonka was accidentally involved in another drunken incident.

Results on the pitch weren't good either. A goalless draw against underdogs Egypt in their opening World Cup group stage game was hammered by fans. In fact, Bassett's son had his eyebrow shaved off by bullies at school the next day.

Advert

A harrowing 4-0 defeat to Mexico followed and, after Mike mixed flaming sambucas with anti-depressant before the infamous Pele incident at the bar, a press conference was called. "Mike, you have to realise that your situation it completely untenable." says one journalist, while another says it's surely time to step down.

More Like ThisMore Like This

1 of 6

Bassett, however, doesn't give in and after a barrage of abuse from the media, he delivers this masterpiece.

A transcipt of Mike's speech [If by Rudyard Kipling] can be seen below.

Advert
Mike Tyson Shows Off Frightening Hand Speed And Head Movement At 54-Years-Old
Boxing

Mike Tyson Shows Off Frightening Hand Speed And Head Movement At 54-Years-Old

published at23 days ago

"If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise

If you can dream-and not make dreams your master;
If you can think-and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings-nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

Advert

And-which is more-you'll be a Man, my son!

Ladies and gentlemen, England will be playing four-four-fucking-two!"

Featured Image Credit: Mike Bassett/YouTube

Topics: Football News, Football, England

Chosen for YouChosen for You

Manchester United To Face AC Milan In Europa League Last 16
published at41 minutes ago

Most Read StoriesMost Read

Football

Nicklas Bendtner Is Currently Ranked 199th In The World On Fantasy Premier League

published at3 days ago

Jack Kenmare

Jack Kenmare is a writer at SPORTbible. He's interviewed some of the biggest names in sport, including Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Pele, Carles Puyol and Tim Henman. He dabbles in all things sport but football is his biggest passion. He was once hit in the head by a wayward strike from Nicky Butt and lived to tell the tale.