You would be forgiven for looking at the headline of this article and thinking, "no he fucking doesn't" but big, bad Andy Carroll has just pulled off a sensational scissor kick to put West Ham into a 2-0 lead against Crystal Palace.
The former Newcastle United striker has struggled in East London since his £17m move four years ago, with injuries constantly derailing his progress.
But today, the towering Geordie has just made Hammers fans forget all about Dimitri Payet with a piece of absolute sorcery.
Carroll's acrobatic heroics today have left Hammers' fans asking 'Dimitri who?' during this afternoon's London derby with Palace.
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Nope, we can't believe what we've just seen, either.
Featured Image Credit:Topics: Football, Premier League, Andy Carroll, West Ham United, Crystal Palace