An Interview With 'Boring James Milner'
There's a recurring joke that James Milner is a boring bloke. It all stemmed from the 'Boring Milner' Twitter account that has now amassed over 500,000 followers and regularly provides us with the most unbelievably plain and dry tweets.
Although the man himself is understandably very busy, we managed chat to 'Boring Milner' about Liverpool's new signings, no European Football for the Reds, the new stand at Anfield and much more.
When we went about arranging the interview, we were met by the most wonderful response.
And then the Boring Milner magic continued throughout the chat...
TheSPORTbible: Hi James, thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to speak with us. How are you enjoying the season so far at Liverpoool and what is the mood like around Melwood?
Boring James Milner: The season's really starting to pick up now and the lads are buzzing. I've invited/texted all the lads around for a "soap" night when Eastenders and the housewives of Orange County are on. No replies yet but it's only been a month since I asked.
TheSPORTbible: What have you made of the new signings made by the club? Have you been impressed with their performances on the pitch and do they share similar interests to you off it?
Boring James Milner: All the lads are quality. My favourite has been Wijnaldum who like me loves Neil Diamond. Although he did say he accidentally snapped the CD but I will get him another.
TheSPORTbible: A lot of impressive performances from the team, particularly in big away games against Arsenal and Chelsea. Is there more of a mental toughness in the camp this year?
Boring James Milner: Mentally we're very strong although some of the lads can lose it with me sometimes for no reason. Jurgen suggested I don't bring my thimble collection into training again.
TheSPORTbible: What are your thoughts on the new stand at Anfield and also the camera angle fans are watching the game from on TV?
Boring James Milner: Well it's 8000 more Reds so it's great. It's funny because my retro electronic games collection is worth about that.
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TheSPORTbible: Are you missing the European trips this season or does that give you extra time to do your duties at home?
Boring James Milner: Gutted about Europe tbh but yeah I did get annoyed sometimes when certain countries didn't have some channels. I hate missing Judge Rinder!
TheSPORTbible: We've noticed you have a tendency to send text messages to the wrong person. Has that affected your role in the dressing room at all?
Well actually I just got a new phone to stop that happening again. It's a Nokia 5110. It's got everything I need.
I just went to text Danny Ings but I accidentally text Simon Mignolet instead. It was so funny. pic.twitter.com/H6iL0TgLuh- Boring James Milner (@BoringMilner) September 17, 2016
TheSPORTbible: You have filled in at left-back this season. Are you enjoying that role? Do you think Jurgen is playing you there simply because you have got a better haircut than Alberto Moreno?
Boring James Milner: I'll play wherever I'm needed. I love the gaffer. In fact we get on great. Yesterday I got a Mars Bar out the vending machine and two fell out so I gave him other one!
TheSPORTbible: Your close friend Joe Hart is doing well at Torino. Has he been in touch at all and is he getting to grips with life in Italy?
Boring James Milner: He's head and shoulders above everyone else. Although I don't have dandruff myself.
TheSPORTbible: If you had to pick your favourite Karaoke song, what would it be?
Boring James Milner: Vera Lynn "we'll meet again". Sends shivers down my spine. I often play it before a big game.
TheSPORTbible: Finally, what is your choice of sandwich filler?
Boring James Milner: Tuna and sweetcorn. I find it mind-boggling how they keep it fresh for 7 days. I got one from Morrison's the other day and had it for lunch for a whole week....awesome.
To see more brilliance from Boring Milner, follow him on Twitter: @BoringMilner
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