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"Would I accept Messi in Madrid? 100%," said Real's captain in an admirably honest interview with YouTuber Ibai. "I would be delighted to have Messi at Madrid. I would even make room for him in my house if necessary!
"We have had to suffer against him in his best years. Not having him in front of me to deal with would be good. I would like to see him at Madrid."
However before the legendary defender begins making up the spare bedroom, he's realistic enough to know that signing the Barcelona icon is unrealistic. "Some things money can't buy," he adds. "It's impossible."
What is not impossible is Real Madrid signing either of the hottest young strikers in Europe. But Ramos didn't back down when asked to choose between PSG ace Mbappe or Borussia Dortmund goal machine Haaland.
"If I have to choose only one, I would say Haaland because he is easier to sign," the 34-year-old explained. "Mbappe is much more difficult due to the economic problems nowadays.
"It wouldn't be bad to sign Haaland, he'll provide qualities that we don't have in the team."
Makes sense, seeing as the 22-year-old Mbappe is almost certainly going to be more expensive to prise away from Paris than Haaland might be from the Bundesliga.
However one player Ramos admits he wishes never left Real is - unsurprisingly - Cristiano Ronaldo.
"With Cristiano's departure, Cristiano lost out and Real Madrid lost out. I wouldn't have let him go," said Ramos about a player who won four Champions League titles in five years, before departing to Juventus in 2018.
On his own contract situation - set to run out in the summer, with rumours the legendary Real defender might leave the club himself - Ramos kept his cards closer to his chest.
"At the moment I am happy that I will return to play and will be able to help my teammates on the field," he said. "I am just thinking of finishing the season and winning the title with the team."
But Ramos was less shy when admitting he took some pleasure in seeing Real's arch rivals Barcelona knocked out of the Champions League by Paris Saint-Germain this week.
"The satisfaction of seeing Barca knocked out is there," Ramos admitted. "I have more fights with them and they are a rival.
"Also, [former teammate] Keylor Navas is at PSG. I don't like laughing because next week it could happen to us. I don't wish anything bad on anybody, but we are still alive at the moment.
"But you have to be careful with Atalanta," he added, referring to the side Real have a 1-0 advantage over going into their Champions League last-16 second leg at the Bernabeu.
Fair play to Ramos. The ultra-successful Spanish defender clearly takes as many prisoners off the pitch as he does on it.
All imagery: PA Images
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