They have very little footballing ability, are an embarrassment to their friends and family and look repulsive in a tight-fitting kit, and as if things couldn't get any worse, the England national team have now been called out by the UK's fattest football side.
The reputation of the Three Lions is at rock bottom following a disastrous Euros, so much so that a six-a-side team who once weighed the equivalent of three grand pianos even fancy their chances in a game against them.
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Marcus Farnsworth of Beer Bellies United, who play in the MAN v FAT Football league where a player's weight loss counts as much as the goals they score, issued the call out to England saying, "We may be a bunch of fat bastards but we'd give them a good run for their money. Honestly, I don't think Raheem Sterling would get a game for our lot at the moment and he weighs as much as one of my arms.
"We'd officially like to challenge England to a six-a-side match, any time, any place, with the winners setting the losers a forfeit," although Marcus refused to confirm which team Wayne Rooney would play for.
Marcus, who has lost 67 lbs on the league so far, concedes that a match-up against England is unlikely, so has put forward a cheeky side bet instead.
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"We've lost nearly 500lbs now since we joined MAN v FAT Football and we reckon we can lose more weight in stones between us than England can score goals against Slovakia, Malta, Slovenia and Scotland together."
Right now we can't be sure which team is more difficult to get into and despite being the answer to the "who ate all the pies" chant, Marcus and his mates can't be ruled out of winning!
If you or someone you know are looking to shift a bit of weight and love to play then MAN v FAT Football is a 14 week league for men like you. Players get bonus points for hitting weight loss targets as well as winning matches and get full support to kick fat into touch
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The leagues started in Solihull but places are available throughout the country. 95% of players lose weight with the average being just under two stone. 62% hit their target for 5% body weight loss. If you want to join or you know someone who would visit www.manvfat.com/football. Registration is just £9.99 and matches cost £6-a-week.
