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Simply Spurs Summarises - L Is For Lingard

Simply Spurs Summarises - L Is For Lingard

A Dramatic Week Of Football From The Perspective Of A Spurs Fan

John Burnham

John Burnham

Wow. I really REALLY dislike football at the moment. These articles are getting more and more painful to write as the weeks pass by and it's far too cold to take up gardening right now, so unfortunately I've got to continue suffering as a Spurs fan. The worst thing about last week was having to watch Spurs play twice in the Premier League rather than once. Times are tough...

There were four Premier League fixtures last Tuesday; the two main games being Watford vs Manchester United and Leicester vs Tottenham. Manchester United almost pulled off a Liverpool-esque capitulation on Tuesday night as they were close to bottling a 3-0 lead at Vicarage Road. United were 3-0 up early on in the first half and cruising until goals from Troy Deeney and Abdoulaye Doucouré late into the second half made the ending of the match very nerve-wracking for United, but luckily Jesse Lingard bagged a fourth United goal to cancel out any late upsets.

Meanwhile in the other game Jamie Vardy was having a party as he put Leicester ahead against Spurs with a delicious flicked lob over Hugo Lloris. Things got even worse for Spurs just before half time as Riyad Mahrez scored a beauty to make it 2-0 and deep down I already knew the game was lost. I genuinely haven't seen Spurs play this poorly since the Tim Sherwood era. Even when Harry Kane got one back to make it 2-1 I didn't bother getting my hopes up. The finishing from Tottenham was just dreadful that night and Fernando Llorente is giving Vincent Janssen and Roberto Soldado a run for their money in being the worst Tottenham striker in recent times.



On Wednesday night Arsenal battered Huddersfield 5-0 whilst Liverpool battered Stoke 3-0, Chelsea only managed one goal in a victory over Swansea as Renato Sanches spent the night passing to advertisement signs, Manchester City continued to make the title race boring thanks to Raheem Sterling scoring yet another last minute winner, and Burnley won away to Bournemouth which took them above Tottenham in the table. Tottenham Hotspur Football Club below Burnley Football Club. Incredible (and also rather depressing from my perspective). The televised game on Wednesday was Everton vs West Ham which lived up to it's banterous expectations. Everton won 4-0 as Sam Allardyce sank pints of gravy from the sidelines. West Ham being dreadful is the only enjoyable thing about football for me right now.



On Friday we found out who England were drawing 0-0 with in the World Cup group stages. Surely everyone's buzzing for the inevitable dull and uninspiring performances against Tunisia and Panama right? Moving on to Saturday, I spent most of the day hungover hopping onto multiple trains due to a messy Friday night work Christmas party. I only watched the Arsenal vs Manchester United match in the evening after somehow ending up in the pub rather than my bed. The main highlights from earlier in the day were Chelsea beating Newcastle, Liverpool thrashing Brighton, and Spurs climbing back above Burnley in the league to the dizzy heights of 6th after an eventful 1-1 draw away to Watford. Davinson Sanchez received a straight red card for a silly elbow on Richarlison which means if Jan Vertonghen gets booked against Brighton, Tottenham will face Manchester City without Jan Vertonghen, Toby Alderweireld and Davinson Sanchez. Would be a laugh to be honest.

As I stumbled into the pub on Saturday evening feeling like death, I looked up to the screen to see that Manchester United were already 2-0 up against Arsenal, and my Arsenal supporting mates couldn't have looked angrier. Manchester United won 3-1 in a game where David De Gea made a solid 24972357439215 saves, and Jesse Lingard (whose 2nd goal won me £29, cheers pal) was allowed to Milly Rock. During the weekend on Twitter many Arsenal fans have been criticising the Match Of The Day pundits for being biased. Shame on you Alan Shearer and Gary Lineker for not praising Arsenal for losing.



Once again my highlight from Sunday was scoring another brace for my Sunday League team, and I've now got 4 goals in 2 games. Might have to retire from creating bad memes for ODDSbible soon to link up with Kane at Tottenham, we'd be unstoppable. Bournemouth drew 1-1 with Southampton in the first Sunday fixture where the only highlight was Ryan Bertrand messing up a throw in, and Manchester City managed to come back from behind to win 2-1 against West Ham. The odds for West Ham to win 1-0 and Angelo Ogbonna to score were 2000/1...



So that wraps up another week of Premier League football. Not much has changed really, City are still flying and Spurs are still s***. Will Spurs ever make me smile again? I guess we'll have to wait and see. Have a good week folks!

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