Looking ahead to Fantasy Football Gameweek 34, @FantasyYIRMA has frisked the fixtures to try and make sense of where the points are going to come from in this week's games.
IT'S A DOUBLE GAMEWEEK: Yippie-Ki-Yay YIRMA F*****!!!
Yes that's right it's one of those magical times of the season where certain teams play twice in a single gameweek opening up countless opportunities for fantasy points galore.
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Now clearly having invested time in reading this column on a weekly basis over the past few months you will all be well aware of this scenario... but let's assume you're not and have accidentally landed on this page under the false pretences of a "Naked Kelly Brook" clickbait headline.
Double Gameweek Teams for this week:
- Crystal Palace play v Liverpool (A)/Spurs(H)
- Manchester United v Burnley (A)/Man City (A)
- Middlesbrough v Bournemouth (A)/ Sunderland(H)
So...upfront...this is where I was planning to wax lyrical and bang on about Zlatan Ibrahimovic until that man Zlatan managed to Zlatan up his Zlatan knee. You know, there is actually method to my madness when I leave writing these previews to the last minute.
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It would of great assistance to the ODDSbible editorial team if I submitted this article on say a Wednesday but let's be realistic, that would require discipline, that would require me to have the time to do this midweek and finally that would make the content of this article less coherent and reliable than it already isn't.
Regardless - if I had written this on Wednesday I would have gone big on Zlatan. Since he's out of the picture I'm leaning towards Middlesbrough's Alvaro Negredo. Yes I realise he plays for Middlesbrough and yes I realise that Middlesbrough are the Premier League goalscorers with 23 goals all season...but...BUT...this is crunch time for Boro. If they are going to dig themselves out of the sh*thole mess they are in it has to be now against the teams in and around them.
Fixtures against both Bournemouth and Sunderland will not be easy matches in the slightest but this is roll the dice time and they have two go for it. Negredo has seemed up for the fight in recent weeks with 2 goals in his last 3 games and there is no doubt that if he gets decent service he is capable of scoring.
And Zlatan Zlatan'd his Zlatan Knee!! So there's that!!
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In midfield I actually put a bit of thought into this. Palace are one of the teams with a double gameweek however those games happen to be against Liverpool and Spurs. Their cause is not helped by the fact that man-mountain Sahko is ineligible against his parent club meaning they may be more defensively tested.
Wilfried Zaha has taken on huge amount of plaudits this season and with good reason. He is genuinely at home back at Selhurst Park but I picked him last week so it is worth pointing out that Andros Townsend is cheaper, much more of a differential in terms of percentage owned and has actually outscored Zaha over the past 6 gameweeks making him an interesting proposition if you don't have Palace coverage.
I do have to point out that Mathieu Flamini is my favourite current player in World Football. Maybe it's his drive, maybe it's his commitment, maybe it's the fact that he's on course to being a billionaire and revolutionising the fuel industry - who can tell?? I know one thing - if I thought for one second that Big Sam had the balls to unleash the Flamini fury on Liverpool and Spurs this week we would be guaranteed goals, assists or at the very least a yellow card
And if all else fails, Mesut Ozil released new baseball cap merchandise so he'll want to play well this week to flog that... So there's that!!
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Let's stick with the whole double gameweek theme in defence. GW34 defender pick was initially going to be Goalkeeper Víctor Valdés. Firstly, I am acutely aware that a goalkeeper is not a defender. I am also aware that it's my article so deal with it! ;)
Anyway - My logical choice of Valdés with the aforementioned two games seemed sensible until it turned out he was injured...
Not to worry. Marcus Rojo has really stepped up in recent weeks forming a strong understanding with Bailly at the heart of the United defence. He has a double gameweek and could be a strong pick at the back. Oh..what's that - he's managed to Zlatan his Zlatan Knee also and is out injured.
So with Valdes and Rojo out injured and my beloved Sahko ineligible I was tempted to go back to the man the myth the legend Gareth McAuley to take on the mantle. Then I realised WBA don't actually have a Premier League match for GW34 and I was ready to HULK SMASH anyone who came near me.
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Anyway..Now Valdes, Rojo, Sahko and McAuley are not options I've decided to go for England's World Cup 2018 Golden Boot winner Phil Jagielka. Big Phil is in the goalscoring form of his life with a goal in each of his last 3 games.
And Zlatan is still injured, So there's that!!
Written by Ryan @FantasyYIRMA
FantasyYIRMA.com established in 2012, is a niche Fantasy Football site focused on providing news, views and insight for the English Premier League.