THIS STORY WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN AUGUST 2017
Weird, the transfer window, isn't it? Just loads of irrational head-the-balls on Twitter going ballistic about every player being a 'fraud' and shitting their kecks over how much someone costs despite the fact that transfer fees barely mean fuck all any more. Then on the last day someone force feeds Jim White an arseload of Red Bull and a few wraps of whizz like he's a knackered, Scottish goose being farmed for transfer stories instead of foie gras, throws a yellow tie on him and demands that he shouts at a camera for five hours.
Fucking bizarre. You'd get more sense out of Dennis Hopper in the '70s than you would the summer transfer window.
Advert
Twenty years ago, however, things were a lot simpler. And the players were a lot fucking better. And the kits were smarter, although that's 2,000 words for another time.
Instead of thousands of people religiously following a player's social media activity to glean whether he's on the move or not, or you know, just ferociously punching out abusive tweets to any journalist who's information has proven to be inaccurate regarding an imminent deal, back in the '90s we basically relied on Ceefax and those extortionate rumour lines you could call up for £1.50 per minute to discover that Noel Whelan, John Salako and Mikel Beck were mulling over moves.
It was a glorious time. No videos of an expensive new signing miscontrolling a ball or fluffing an easy chance accompanied with a caption of '£65 million...' existed and instead everyone just got dead excited about which United Alan Shearer would move to and which exotic, long haired South American striker may or may not be making his way to the Premier League from clubs we'd only heard about in FourFourTwo, World Soccer or on Gazzetta Football Italia or Trans World Sport.
1996: A summer of transfers, done right. Images: PA
Advert
In 1996, as Newcastle United edged out Manchester United with a world record fee of £15 million for England captain Shearer, Barcelona parted with £12.8 million to bring a certain El Fenomeno from PSV Eindhoven to the Camp Nou.
Not only that, but Parma also managed to land Lilian Thuram for £4.5 million, Rivaldo began his European adventure with Deportivo La Coruna and Zinedine Zidane cost Juventus just £3.2 million, five years before earning them £47.5 million when he moved to Real Madrid as the world's most expensive player.
Advert
Just look at the talent on that list; Davor Suker had just lit up Euro '96 and would inspire Croatia to the World Cup semi-finals two years later. Pedrag Mijatovic would repay the £6.4 million Real Madrid parted with for him by scoring the winner in the Champions League final against Juventus, in 1998, with £3.2 million midfielder Clarence Seedorf also playing a part in Los Blancos' European success.
Can we all just return to this time, please? It might mean Jim White's out of a job and some lads have to peel themselves away from the computer in the spare bedroom at their mum's house to get some fresh air, but it would be well worth it.
Topics: Football News, Football